Ubin Jan '08

Hahahah should have posted this picture decades ago, anyway enjoy the clips people

Crappy

Hello it’s been awhile since I made an entry here, anyway I’m amazed that I didn’t make any blog entry last month. I was busy with tons of stuff last month and also feeling down with work, family, my future and other things. Maybe I’m just trying to keep myself busy so that some things can just be forgotten. Well the more I try the more vivid it gets, that’s ironic right.

Maybe I spent my time in church too much, neglecting people like my pals whom I knew since my schools days. Kind of feel bad about it, not meeting them up of a long time, but when I’m feeling blue they will be listening to my trouble over the messenger. Although it’s great to worship the One who I believe in but I don’t think He would not want me to forget the others that’s around me.

Secondly had been thinking lots of stuff after becoming a Christian, the stuff that I done and the thing that had happen, whether it was the right or wrong. I’m not saying that I regret becoming a Christian but the decision that I made. Always had the feeling that why I should follow what another tells me to do. Stuff like “oie why never go X-road” “go dg leh” “step up to lead a dg” “do u think that u can grow without making discipleship”. Well to tell the truth I’m sick of people leading me by the nose.

I didn’t make any commitment to God that I would do this stuff; I just purely joined so that I could know more about Christianity (I mean join crusade). That time I just wanted to know more as I was a fresh Christian and had no intention of anything extra. Then thing just went by really fast, 1st was becoming a gig leader. Ya at 1st it was great to get to know a pre- believer who finally came to know Christ but the next moment he gave me a shock of my life. Sometimes I wonder did I give him the wrong information about my beliefs or God is putting me to a test.

Okay I know evangelizing is part of what I suppose to do and I must say it’s not difficult. The hard part actually begins with doing the following up. Ya I know people going out to mission trips during the holidays but did you ever thought of whether the people after knowing Christ will or will not backslide the next day. Well I think it’s rather irresponsible to start a thing and not following through or maybe I just think too much.

Well God made everyone special, not everyone was made to be preachers or leaders in church or other Christian organization. But I think He also creates people who will excel in other areas example sports, music, studies and other places. Anyway when we use this gift in that particular area isn’t it worshiping Him too?

Sometimes great advice doesn’t really have to be from a Christian, other people can also have opinions that are great too. I knew a Christian who always tells me about life sucks; worry about not able to finish paying school fee, about not able to get a job upon graduation and other demoralizing topics. That really just puts me down when I have to work with this kind of people cause after listening repeatedly to what they say really bothers me to think in that area. I think this also add on to why I felt down for the past few weeks.

Last night had combine cell, and it was the 1st time had I step up to the front to be prayed for. Well am amazed by the ones who prayed for me, yup was really bothered by issues of why am I trying to be someone am not. Why must I follow what the rest do and not do it the way I like it or the way I think is also Christ like decisions. I was also bothered by getting myself baptized, kept thinking whether what my other not Christian relatives might think.

While praying and keeping my focus on recollecting my past walk with God, tears just flows down my face. Don’t know if it’s tears of joy or sorrow but I definitely knew that it’s the tears which release me from the gloominess for the past weeks that had been dwelling inside.

Anyway I think my entry quite messy there, lots of stuff going through me now. Can’t really think and write properly now. Well please pray for me then.